i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
