Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
