no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
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Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
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Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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