you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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