Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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