Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
