his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
