I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
