the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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