You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
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I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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