apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
