She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
