We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
