Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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