i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
