Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
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whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize