dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
