Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
