rhymes with "ouble enetration"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
