I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
