Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
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Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
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Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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