just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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