I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
