too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
