Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
oh god the rape fog is back!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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