so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize