glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
