i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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