i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
