please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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