I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
being pregnant is like rehab
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
