Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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