Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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