dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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