were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
