i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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