how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
