He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
