Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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