I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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