My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
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You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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