I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
