Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
