More tranny stories later!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize