ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
