Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
