i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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