I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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