they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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