the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
