STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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