ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize