I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
