if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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