Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
