I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
