I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize