I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize