I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
