I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
