It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
