they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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