Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
