I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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