oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
