IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
