im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I FOUND THE LEGS
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
