I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Mom said you looked used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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