What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
