Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
