marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
