After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
so let's talk penis.
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Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
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It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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