i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
