Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
