Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
