I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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